


push and pull

by takinoue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kuroo Tetsurou-centric, Not Romance, Stress, Student Kuroo Tetsurou, are they best friends or oblivious homos? something in between yeah, nvm thats not irony its just kuroo pov accuracy isnt it, pretty much just stressed overworking vball nerd kuroo, the irony of kuroo-centric yet kenma's name is mentioned more times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takinoue/pseuds/takinoue
Summary: Kuroo comforts Kenma when he's stressed / Kuroo lets himself realize he could use some comfort as well
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	push and pull

**Author's Note:**

> hi uh first fic? first piece of creative writing since like middle school? hope it's comprehensible, and dare i say even enjoyable.  
>  _the process of this was basically [open doc] [cry over kuroo] [project onto kuroo] [open new thesaurus.com tab] [cry over kuroo]_  
>   
>  well, here it is, and thanks for reading!:)

for anyone who’s met him, it's pretty easy to tell when kenma's upset. he shrinks into his oversized hoodie, tucks his head into his knees, and buries himself into his latest battle game. kuroo's the only one he lets in, and the older boy always knows how to comfort him.

the two sit on the cold hallway floor against a locker, knees touching, kuroo talking quietly as he watches kenma's fingers dance across his console. when the smaller boy starts snickering at his bad jokes, and even looks up for a moment to roll his eyes, kuroo knows his anxiety is calming. his heart settles as he watches kenma's playing with a softness in his eyes. as much as it hurts to see his best friend upset, he knows it won't help to push. he’d bolted from his literature class when he saw kenma’s text, and sitting with him now and rambling about volleyball or biology facts - effortless, for kuroo - was the best way to distract kenma when he was anxious, as he’d learned over their years of friendship.

before he can overthink it, he reaches out and tucks the other boy's bleach-yellow hair behind his ear. kenma looks up at him and blinks, ignoring the bright flashes on his screen.

he hesitates, feels his cheeks warming but pushes forward to murmur, "you sure you're alright now? you know i’m here, always"

the blond nods, granting him a soft "thank you" before dropping his head back to his console. 

kuroo’s seen his anxiety and been there to support him, since they became childhood friends meeting at the playground. he's made it his 'kodzuken's best friend' duty to know the other boy inside and out - from the plot of his current video game, to his favorite dessert order at their coffee shop, to his anxious moods and how to help him through them. kuroo laughed it off, a bit embarrassed, when his father called the two of them attached at the hip, but it was a fair assessment - and he wouldn't have it any other way.

//

for all his charisma and energy though, kuroo hides his own worries maybe even better than his reserved best friend. volleyball team captain, advanced science classes, college prep - he's got a lot on his plate at any moment, but makes it look easy. 

if he isn't redrawing chemistry diagrams or flipping through pages of scrawled physics notes, he's in coach nekomata's office eagerly going over team strategies and weak spots. kenma notices how hard he pushes himself though; he sees the dark circles under his eyes despite how he shows up crowing to morning practice, sees the empty monster cans peeking out when he tosses his bag across the locker room floor, and sees the way he's blinking back sleep on their late night video calls.

kuroo doesn't know what it means to take a break, insists he could always be playing (or at least plotting) volleyball instead. kenma can't count how many times he tells him not to push himself so hard, and how many times the older boy snorts and waves him away. he loves what he does, and can't bring himself to give any of it up without feeling like he's giving up on himself.

this past week however it's been worse than the usual load, whether he admits it to kenma or not. on top of his usual classwork, the team had their next game this weekend and their gangly new first year, lev haiba, was throwing them all off balance. kuroo finds himself going beyond the teasing comments he normally tosses at his teammates and nearly snapping at the first years. sunny inuoka insists it's nothing when he immediately apologizes, but the frown doesn't leave the captain's face. 

after practice, he waits for kenma by his locker, staring at the to-do list on his glowing phone screen. after his third "tchh" and frustrated sigh, the smaller boy nudges him - "cmon kuro, ready?" - and he shakes his head to clear it as they set off together. they walk to and from school together every day, haven't missed a day since the start of second grade when kuroo's family moved down the block (except for the time kenma had a cold for nearly a week, and kuroo would run the whole way back, straight to the other boy’s house to deliver that day's assignments and another manga stack).

today the third-year’s clearly stressed, but doesn't mention it as they walk. he chatters about practice and their upcoming game, and cackles at kenma's wry commentary - "if haiba played blindfolded he'd probably block better, perhaps with his forehead" - before smirking that this only meant more practice for the two of them. he's a bit distracted though, deadlines swimming in his head and the inches between the two seeming so much further today. 

as they turn onto kenma's street, the younger boy stops and looks up at him. "get some sleep tonight, yeah? your eye bags look worse than usual, kuro" he frowns. 

"what are you, my grandmother?" he snorts, and gets a light punch to the shoulder for it, "and not happening, i've got exams this week, remember!"

"i mean it though... take care of yourself" the blond heads off, shaking his head.

"alright, grandma!" kuroo calls to his back, and snickers at the middle finger he gets in return. but with the other boy gone, his grin fades. he runs a hand through his disheveled black hair and lets out another frustrated sigh as the day's exhaustion returns to him. this week was endlessly piling on work, yet thinking about it just made him want to shut his eyes and curl into a month-long nap.  _ he'd make up the sleep next week _ , he told himself unconvincingly. 

it's nearly two when he hangs up on kenma's call, hazel eyes heavy and half-closing. he stretches, lanky form stiff after hours of crouching over his laptop. chemistry equations were one thing, but memorizing endless grammar clauses made his mind whirl; the frustrating temptation of  _ what’s it all worth, anyway? _ creeping into his peripherals before he shoves it back down -  _ doesn’t matter now, does it? all that does is giving his all _ . his lamp blinks off as he crawls into bed, quiets his racing thoughts of tomorrow's responsibilities. he’s out in minutes, giving in to his exhausted body, but it's a fitful sleep. for the short hours before dawn he tosses and turns, reenacting spikes and blocks in a hazy dream volleyball game.

kuroo jolts awake before his alarm, an electric tension coursing through his veins, though his limbs still feel like lead. no sense going back to bed now, he can get to the gym early and hit some serves. he gives his spiky bedhead a tired stare in the bathroom mirror, brushes his teeth. gathering the notes scattered across his desk into his school bag, his mind starts returning to all his assignments and exams in the next few days. he’ll get through it, he always does - it just might mean another few long nights.  _ even if his nerves were fraying these days like those copper wires in chemistry lab _ , he thinks wryly.

the walk to school feels longer than usual and the dark-haired boy shivers a bit, from the biting cold and eerie quiet without kenma by his side. he sends him a text, a quick  _ “don’t wait for me, going early to practice (^-^*)/” _ before opening the door to the club gym.

the lights flicker on as he drags out a ball cart, wheels squeaking across the gym floor. he lets out a deep breath, grounding himself and staring down at the volleyball in his palms. the thoughts and responsibilities crowding his mind fade as he bounces the ball once, twice. 

_ and if giving everything he has, every day, doesn’t tear him apart - what’s it all even for - where was he even aiming? college applications are around the corner already, and he’s far from the certainty of some of his classmates.  _ he readies the ball in front of him, arms outstretched, poised. 

_ unimportant - his team needed him now, as the blood in their veins. _ he tosses, takes two bounding steps as the ball spins high above him.  _ flow without stopping. _ his arm stretches back, body arcing as he leaps. the sharp smack of his palm hitting the ball sounds through the gym.  _ connect _ . he braces his landing, exhales sharply and watches the ball slam into the floor. 

_ no use worrying about the future, it’ll come at its own pace, everything will settle into place. _ the captain focuses his attention on what he can control for now, improving his jump serves. he allows himself a small smile at that last one, then steps back to grab another ball. 

kuroo pours his effort into every serve for the next half hour, the balls smashing over the net and rolling into a growing pile. he pushes back his now sweat-beaded dark hair, breathing heavily from the exertion, but there’s a satisfied smile at the corner of his mouth. volleyball grounds him; it’s a point to fixate his often whirling thoughts on with the fierce delight of his palm stinging after a service ace.

he’s gathering up the balls scattered on the other side of the net, letting his mind wander a bit more calmly now.  _ maybe that practice with lev he’d teased kenma about really was a good idea for them synch up, as much as the setter might complain. _ he doesn’t hear the gymnasium door gently open, or the quiet thump of another bag being tossed beside his.

_ one more for good luck, then he’ll pack up. _ he takes a breath and surges into another jump serve. as his hand connects with the ball though, he looks out across the net and his eyes widen as he lands.

“kenma!” he crows in surprise, seeing the smaller boy watching him intently from the bleachers, “what could’ve gotten you here early?”

“ _ your _ text? i was up playing monster hunter anyway, figured i should join you,” the blond grumbles, a gentler question of  _ what was kuroo doing here in the first place _ under his words.

“sweet as always, kyanma!” he teases, walking over to the other before dropping one half of his crooked smile. “i just.. needed to hit some serves, so i wouldn’t take it out on my laptop instead. this week’s been feeling insane” he concedes.

kenma rolls his eyes before turning them on him with a rare golden softness, “well you know i’m here for you always… or whatever sappy thing it is you say to me.”

kuroo can’t help his cackle of laughter even as his ears warm. he knew the setter was there to support him, just as he always was for him, but it’s unexpectedly heartening to hear his own words spoken back to him. “yeah, yeah… thanks” he replies.

“you can also be the one that needs support, you know? i’ve got you however i can help, if you’ll let on that you need it,” kenma continues.

he’s a bit taken aback, seeing the younger boy’s quiet love in a moment he hadn’t even realized he needed its comfort.  _ you know what, maybe he could use a layer of insulation to support those fragile wires of his nerves (he doesn’t voice this analogy he’s been nursing, knowing kenma would only give him an eye roll for it) _ “thank you” he answers simply, warmly.

kenma gives him a half-smile that turns into a gaping yawn, and kuroo’s smirk returns.

“if you could start by helping me take this net down, that would  _ really _ show your support and friendship!” he grins.

“i’ll take all that back, kuro, you bastard,” the other boy retorts, but slides off the bench and heads towards the net despite his words.

kuroo heads after him, a soft smile warming his face and shoulders feeling a bit lighter than they have in days.


End file.
